Bathroom Ethics

There is something I love about a rainy day. I never can really describe it. Maybe it is how it makes one appreciate the shelter that we take for granted. Or maybe it is the concept peculiarity of water falling out of the sky. Maybe it is just the way the grass looks and how the sidewalk becomes shiny. Whatever it is. When it rains I like three things: coffee, taco bell, driving, reading, movies, cuddling, and my car. So more like... 7 things.

Today it rained, and all i got to do was go to taco bell and drive my car. But my car needs work so driving it sucked anyway. I was in taco bell and I was stoked. I ordered my food, and then went to the bathroom. For some reason, good things always happen to me in taco bell bathrooms. The first time, I was drunk and it was bull dogging a brew, but this time it was much more philosophical. I peed, and then upon washing my hands I looked around the bathroom to see what I was in for as far as drying my hands...

It was slim pickins as they say where I am from. The only hand drying option was an electric hand dryer. The kind that blows hot air. I don't like those. How is air supposed to dry hands? I guess it works or they wouldn't waste time buying the dryers and installing them. Needless to say I'm a paper towel guy. I sacrifice the life of a beautiful life form (a tree) for the comfort of my hands and for the cleanliness of the opening the door of the bathroom and turning off the sink.

My annoyance with the lack of a paper towel got me thinking. What if I had options. I mused further. What if i was neutral minded towards my preference of a wet hand remedy and i was looking for the most ethical way to wash my hands. I came up with three options.

A. Dont do it. For lazy people who don't give a fuck. A good choice for many. But for those with ethical intent, its gross, spreads bacteria, stds (who knows what you got when you been holdin on yo junk) and etc.

B. Use the electric blower. Two problems. 1. not sanitary. There are germs all over the thing. Think about all the kids that don't know how to wipe their ass and then think its funny to turn on the blower because its loud and pushing buttons is fun! Needless to say touching the blower with clean hands is a waste of time and will recontaminate. And touching the faucet with bare hands to turn it off is the same concept. No matter what combination of things are done there is contamination that goes from the process of washing hands to the door handle. And even if one does manage to make it to the door handle, the door handle will be touched and germs will be spread. No matter what happens, one carries germs are spread from you to innocent white protestants. Unethical.

C. What seems to be the best option is paper towels. This is the only way to avoid the spreading of germs. So its ethical right? WRONG! Have fun killing a tree mutherfucker! Either be clean or green. Unethical

D. The only ethical thing to do i would say would be to terminate your self if you find yourself in a bathroom without an electric door. And even then your at risk of spreading STD's if you sat on the seat.

So next time your in tacobell and you face this dilema, even though the tacobell in normal only has a blower so your decision is premade. Id recommend doing as the romans do. Bring a beer chug that son'a'bitch and forget about it.

Pardon my French.
Currently listening: Andy Mckee, Miles Davis, and Drunken ambiance from my floor.

Take care ladies and gents

Hopefully Im not gay PS

PS. On the plane I farted real bad sitting next to my sister. She had to deal with it for hours. Well about a minute... but still.

Hopefully I am not Gay

Picture me on an Airplane. It is a clear night and I am sitting next to the window feeling all of the dynamics of an infrequent flyer. I am wearing headphones and passing atlanta, the flight is smooth and comforting in the strangest way.

Today (5 days ago now, but this was handwritten) on two airplanes, gone throgh three airplanes, and seen thousands of people whom I will never know. This experience is something that led me to feel infinite, thought provoking. I remember seeing a man in a red polo that read "Red Dog Saloon, Juneau, Ak: It reminded me largely ofe my Jr High best friend, but from there my thoughts were free to snowball. I thought about humanity and how we are interconnected. I saw people flying for all different reasons. Newlyweds obviously about to do it and make the babies! And struggling single mothers, exhausted to the point of destruction trudging through the crowded corridors.

I suppose I never really had a point in writing this, I was just happy to have had these thoughts and noticed people besides myself. I get so caught up in thinking intrinsicly about what things mean to me that I lose sight of everything else that takes up so much more space than I do. Perhaps I shouldnt be on an airplane to have these revelations. Id strongly reccomend flying sometime, it was a nice wake up call. People watching is sweet.

Currently Listening: Nevertheless - From the inside looking in

Naked

Yesterday, was the last day of Cornerstone Festival. A beloved music festival that I attend nearly every year. Cornerstone is a festival in which patrons camp on site and if it rains, everyone is screwed. I am one who is lucky to live 20 minutes away so when it rains and everyone is screwed I am dry in macomb in my bed. It can definitely be a nice thing. Anyway, it rained the night before the last day of cornerstone. It rained alot. It rained 4 inches in 12 hours. I was in macomb and dry.

Because I love cornerstone and would be sad to miss any bit of it. I decided to brave the grossness and drive back to cornerstone and see what could be seen. I did, and I found aloto of destroyed/wet tents, my friend luke hess wondering around, a trash can that we ended up starting a hobo fire in (later to get bitched out by the neighbors because aparently plastic tents smell bad when burnt), and a huge mud slide. I got in my boxers and then decided to go mud sliding. But by the time i got there it was too late and the mud had turned into poop/clay/thick mud that you wouldn't want to slide in. So we slid anyway. Not really but we like mud skated across. And despite being in my boxers, at that point we decided (luke and I) to go exploring. We walked around for quite a while getting some strange looks. But eventually luke got tired and went home which left me alone.

I didnt mind. I enjoyed walking around feeling almost free. Almost. I walked in a tent where a band called the Fold was playing and the vocalist notiioned toward me. But as all pantsless adventures go, it eventually had to end. Even though I was not exposed... What happened was I was walking towards the food court and these two radical looking dudes yelled,

"Hey underwear guy!"

"Yeah?" I said.

"You cant do this." They Said.

"Nothing is exposed." I explained.

"There are families here." They said.

"Alot of people walk around here in their undies" I said.

"We have to call for a security escort, a guy in a security cart is going to come pick you up. your not really in trouble or getting kicked out. You just have to change." They said.

"Ugh" I said.

Cornerstone was sweet though. It really was. My parents even liked it.

Some bands I enjoyed:

mewithoutYou

Brooke Waggoner

The harpist Lady

Fundamental Elements

Photoside Cafe

Deas Vail

Copeland

Owl City

Some Metal Bands

Some other bands I forgot the name of

Oops

I suck at writing coherently.

I meant to say Human Satisfaction. Not Hum Disatisfied.

hahaha

Facebook

I have not blogged in forever. Id like to apologize to the 2.55 people that actually read my crappy excuse of a blog/column. I could make excuses, but thats kind of a bitch move, and you know im not about that. (haha) Just know it means alot that you care enough to listen to what I have to say, and that I will try harder to write more. And good shit too, not that crappy list of things I made of things I did. Haha, well good for me at least....relatively.

Anyway.

The other day I was sitting in my livingroom with my friends chilling and shooting shit, guy stuff I suppose. We sit there for no more than five minutes before one of my friends presumebly got bored so went and grabbed a computer to check their facebook. I talk like this has only happened once, this happens everytime I hang out with my friends. Thinking about this perplexes me, Facebook is a social networking website. Really its pretty boring, especially if you check it 9+ times a day like the majority of my friends (sometimes even including me). Its addictive. And if you were to ask me I would rant about how it plays off hum dissatisfied. But in this column thats another say for another day.

I deleted my facebook for a good two months. They were great. I had this theory. I believed that each day I had a limited amount of "social energy" that would be wasted through the sythetic conversations and social interactinos of facebook. Eventually I gave in and reactivated it. Live has sucked more ever since. I really do have less desire to talk to people. I waste time with it. Damn, im gonna delete taht shit right now.... (3 Minutes Later) Damn I cant or no one would know about the existant of this post.

Dont get me wrong. I dont hate facebook. Well, I kidnof do. But I also know it can be a good tool to keep in contact with people and all that jazz. Also, keep in mind, I did better with the ladies when my facebook was deleted. Seriously. Facebook is a swag killer. Nuff Said.

Basically, when your in my house, I really hope your not thatt bored to where you have to check your facebook. Like seriously, we can play monopoly or something. Maybee go fish. Or have a thumb war. There is no interaction as good as person to person interaction, so why waste it.

Listening: Good Ole Miles Davis, and Atmosphere

Future Topics:

Fuck Future Topics, I never use them anyway

Emotional Control

a reflective poem i wrote:

Two days ago I begun reading my favorite book again.

Two days ago I dran k alot of coffee and it made me feel high.

Two days I read my favorite book, drank coffee, and listned to knives out and felt euphorically tingly. 

Yesterday I threw my cooler and it felt real good.

Yesterday I threw a bucket and it felt kindof good.

Yesterday I threw a pen and I felt like an idiot.

Yesterday I listened to music.

Yesterday I went running.

Yesterday I encouraged people

Yesterday I did push ups.

Yesterday I did not drink alcohol. 

Today I rode my bike real fast and hard.

Today I ate some food and it made me feel better.

Today I pulled my hair.

Today I called people I dont normally talk to bounce concepts.

Today I went on a walk with an old friend.

Today I listened to heavy music.

Today I listened to pretty music.

Today I listened to blues traveler.

Today I yelled obscenities.

Today I bought two hats.

Today I didnt ask someone who I wanted to ask to eat pancakes.

The pancakes were really good.

Tomorrow I will wake up 4 times before i wake up.