Bathroom Ethics

There is something I love about a rainy day. I never can really describe it. Maybe it is how it makes one appreciate the shelter that we take for granted. Or maybe it is the concept peculiarity of water falling out of the sky. Maybe it is just the way the grass looks and how the sidewalk becomes shiny. Whatever it is. When it rains I like three things: coffee, taco bell, driving, reading, movies, cuddling, and my car. So more like... 7 things.

Today it rained, and all i got to do was go to taco bell and drive my car. But my car needs work so driving it sucked anyway. I was in taco bell and I was stoked. I ordered my food, and then went to the bathroom. For some reason, good things always happen to me in taco bell bathrooms. The first time, I was drunk and it was bull dogging a brew, but this time it was much more philosophical. I peed, and then upon washing my hands I looked around the bathroom to see what I was in for as far as drying my hands...

It was slim pickins as they say where I am from. The only hand drying option was an electric hand dryer. The kind that blows hot air. I don't like those. How is air supposed to dry hands? I guess it works or they wouldn't waste time buying the dryers and installing them. Needless to say I'm a paper towel guy. I sacrifice the life of a beautiful life form (a tree) for the comfort of my hands and for the cleanliness of the opening the door of the bathroom and turning off the sink.

My annoyance with the lack of a paper towel got me thinking. What if I had options. I mused further. What if i was neutral minded towards my preference of a wet hand remedy and i was looking for the most ethical way to wash my hands. I came up with three options.

A. Dont do it. For lazy people who don't give a fuck. A good choice for many. But for those with ethical intent, its gross, spreads bacteria, stds (who knows what you got when you been holdin on yo junk) and etc.

B. Use the electric blower. Two problems. 1. not sanitary. There are germs all over the thing. Think about all the kids that don't know how to wipe their ass and then think its funny to turn on the blower because its loud and pushing buttons is fun! Needless to say touching the blower with clean hands is a waste of time and will recontaminate. And touching the faucet with bare hands to turn it off is the same concept. No matter what combination of things are done there is contamination that goes from the process of washing hands to the door handle. And even if one does manage to make it to the door handle, the door handle will be touched and germs will be spread. No matter what happens, one carries germs are spread from you to innocent white protestants. Unethical.

C. What seems to be the best option is paper towels. This is the only way to avoid the spreading of germs. So its ethical right? WRONG! Have fun killing a tree mutherfucker! Either be clean or green. Unethical

D. The only ethical thing to do i would say would be to terminate your self if you find yourself in a bathroom without an electric door. And even then your at risk of spreading STD's if you sat on the seat.

So next time your in tacobell and you face this dilema, even though the tacobell in normal only has a blower so your decision is premade. Id recommend doing as the romans do. Bring a beer chug that son'a'bitch and forget about it.

Pardon my French.
Currently listening: Andy Mckee, Miles Davis, and Drunken ambiance from my floor.

Take care ladies and gents